if wishes were horses
(((((((((((((((i wish school was not so concentrated, and that classes and the entire learning process could go on longer. i wish i had a media theory class or polical science course to rush to in the rain this morning, i wish i had something to study and take notes on tonight. its a shame that happened within a 4 year time frame and that i cant afford to make it happen again for awhile…))))))))))))))))))
: what i want from life :
for my family to be happy and healthy
friends who care for me, help me grow as a person, and are lots of fun
a significant other who is a positive force in my life, and is not limiting to me in any way
a house, however humble, with a yard and garden, to have frequent parties in
a job that challenges and fulfills me, which pushes me to create new things and also help others.
to continue learning, seeing, traveling, and becoming whole.
to write a book. to be present as much as humanly possible. to make art. to at least try to make all of my dreams real. to become as pure as possible.
to start this list immediately.
week at the shore was great
but the gritty streets of philadelpia were even better for me.
i have decided im leaving stamford. im sick of fake perfectness and money and polo shirts. i want realness, even if that includes trash on the streets and occasional sadness. it was so hard for me to come back here. my entire being wanted to stay in philadelphia. but i understand how it has made me stronger to move here and live here, and i think new york city would be a good next step for me, in terms of growth.
im going to give my notice today. i will tell them that i can work part time to help out, as i care about what we do here. i feel brave today. here we go…
interview in new york city
madison avenue.
hmmm…
90 minute interview. all i can think of now is how much i dislike black suits…
tell my vision
cop chases,
animal tricks,
and celebrity deathmatch.
ugh
waiting until there is no traffic AT ALL (aka 4 am) to drive to new jersey, i mistakenly turned on the tv. and t h o s e were the first three shows.
\
then i ended up on the simple life for a minute.
MINDLESS! MINDLESS! i dont really know what the ultimate better answer is, but c’mon, this is not the best we can do! we are millions! we contain multitutes!!!
the simple life
just saw this horrendous show for the first time.
it is such an insult to all of humanity. i want to call those girls up and scream at them.
new law! everyone, yes everyone, senators sons and heiress daughters even, must work in a customer service sector to pass high school. then, within 10 years of graduation, a year of volunteer work here or abroad.
starting with paris hilton followed closely by nicole ritchie. then the bush twin girls.
no news is good news? OR i am a rock/ i am an island/ i have my books/ and my poetry to protect me
ahh i promise i will write about news and things that matter outside of my little world soon!
the news has just been so hard to comprehend lately. (and sad. but its always sort of sad. if i think about it too much it all turns into an Existential Freakout)
the mass news outlets suck, comparing this to religious end-of-the-worldage, and the sophisticated stories are too much for me to handle at times—- i dont have enough historical background on the events to fully understand them.
ahh,
i need an middle eastern jogging partner or something.
our cups were half full twice and then some
leah and i drank coffee all day long in brooklyn. not at parco for once (is that what its called?) but at narna or something (that names so wrong…) then at the tea garden (yum, turkish coffee) then at the indonision resturant. yum, that dessert coffee w condensed milk.
then i actually had a fleeting thought of getting more at grand central on my way home.
and now i CANT FALL ASLEEP though im exhausted, and i wonder why.
i am sure i will have to remedy it with some C O F F E E tomorrow morning at work, by time i finally fall alseep at 3 or 2 this morning, and have frantic racing caffinated dreams all night.
the cycle of not enough sleep & too much coffee and too little time in my schedule for improvision to fix situations like this. in college i wouldve stayed up all night, devouring an entire book or making strange things, writings or clothes or plans….
but sadly now it is not so flexible for me. i have a d e s k to r e p o r t to at 9 am. yuck!
chains.
im going to find a theoretical blowtorch to rid myself of ‘em.
goodnight!
(yeah, right…!)
